Ukrainian decedents who live in the United State reflect on their relatives and families who cannot escape the war in Ukraine. Today we speak with Victoria Stepanov, a mother of two kids from Granite Falls, WA. Her father who is in Kiev and sick is unable to evacuate from Ukraine and is stuck because of bureaucracy.
What’s the situation with your father right now?
Victoria Stepanov: My father was in Kyiv when I heard the news that Russia started bombing Kharkiv. We moved to Kyiv from Crimea when I was five, and we lived there almost my entire life until I moved to the US in 2013. So, I called my father in Kyiv and he was unaware of this, he said it was quiet in Kyiv, and that I should watch less TV. But, by the end of that day, he realized it was all true. By then there was an attack on Kyiv and he could hear shots. Something that no one could ever imagine.
Then the same night he called me and said: “I have to leave because a military plane was downed near our apartment and it caused a huge explosion. People are scared and everyone is leaving.”
On his way out, he put everything he could grab into his rucksack, but he was in such a hurry that he didn’t even take all his documents with him. He just didn’t have time. He was trying to leave the city with one of the Christian organizations who could take him to the Polish border, but they couldn’t get him through, because there were block posts.
The Ukrainian president issued a decree that all men between 18 and 60 could not leave the country, though the directive had a stipulation that disabled are not covered under this decree. My father is 57 but he’s missing one lung due to a car accident when he was five, so he’s medically disabled. Besides, he’s diabetic and one of his feet is swollen, he can’t walk without pain. We thought, he should be allowed to leave.
He had to find a way to get out Kyiv on his own. That was very difficult to do because there were a lot of people at the train station, so it was hard to get on the train. He begged the conductor to let him in, so she finally did, and he was able to get to Lviv. The next morning, he paid $100 for a taxi to get him from Lviv to the Polish border. He arrived there, but couldn’t cross.
The Ukrainian side said he couldn’t leave the country because he didn’t have on him his military card, which he forgot at home when he fled. That card had the statement that he was disabled. They refused to even look at his medical papers without it. What was he supposed to do now? I wasn’t able to sleep for several nights, trying to keep in touch with him. I was scared for him. Finally, he was told he’d have to undergo a medical assessment somewhere, and once he’s cleared by the military with a stamp from the military doctor, he would be able to leave. Until then, he couldn’t leave.
By chance, he found someone with a car who took him back to Lviv. In Lviv he went to the Military Office where they do medical assessments for the recruits but the commissar said: “We are at war. We don’t have time for this. Come back in 90 days.” He told them: “How exactly am I going to survive here for three months? I’m sleeping in a school on chairs. People have to feed me because I don’t cook my own food.” But they refused. So, now he’s trying to look for other options. But I don’t think he has other options. Nothing’s going to work without him being cleared by the Military Office.
From my side, I found the email address for the Lviv Military Office and wrote them in Ukrainian a request to help my father who’s waiting for clearance there, and explained that he’s an older gentleman with health issues, disabled and he’s not fit to serve. Besides he’s sick right now with a cough and fever. I attached all the documents, including the X-ray of his lungs, the copy of his passport, and asked them to help. I’m waiting for the response but nothing so far.
I feel guilty about my father’s situation because I got my American citizenship last year, so this January (literally a month before the war) I submitted the immigration papers for my father for the family reunion. His application is under review right now. If we could just get his medical clearance that he’s not fit to serve and cross the Ukrainian border, he should be safe on the Polish side because they accept the Ukrainian refugees. They offer them food and drinks, and a place to sleep at night.
Since my father is originally from Crimea, another scenario could be for him to go back to Crimea to try to get a duplicate of his military card but right now it’s impossible for him to travel there because Crimea is under Russian control. So, he can’t go to Crimea but in Lviv they will not issue a duplicate, and he’s just running in circles, unable to find a solution. Basically, it looks like the directive is not to let any men out of the country. Though, when my father was at the Military Office in Lviv, there were men who were signing up to fight but they were told to wait because they didn’t have enough weapons for them.
All we can do is hope for the best. Everyone is affected by uncertainty and chaos in a different way. Some people have relatives in other places, so they can stay with them, but then there are people who flee, leaving everything behind, including their animals (pets, livestock) because they just can’t take them for the trip. Lviv is quiet for now, but Kyiv and Kharkiv are bombed very badly. People try to evacuate wherever they can. That’s unimaginable. Even when I see the videos, I still can’t imagine the distraction of the beautiful Kyiv, of all these older buildings that withstood centuries. Putin is totally crazy. He wants control over us at all cost.
What is your message to Ukrainians, Russians and Americans?
Victoria Stepanov: For the ones who are in America, if you have relatives in Ukraine, check on them to see if they are okay, help them with a good word, help them financially, call and ask what do they need: food, clothes. That’s the most important thing. Especially help those who are left behind with kids because they are running out of money, and they will starve. Help them in any other way possible. Don’t just say: “Oh, that’s such a pity.” Do something! I expect this in particular from people of faith. We should not stay on the sidelines and watch. Absolutely everyone can end up in a similar situation.
Also, don’t be quiet. Use the social media to speak out, especially if you have relatives and friends in Russia, so they know what’s really going on. Their Russian soldiers are dying for nothing in this war, too. I have two sons. I can’t even imagine that I’d have to give up my sons to a bloody war like this, where I wouldn’t even know if they’ll come back alive. They might even become heroes while protecting their country, the country will continue but I, as a mother, will have to live without my sons for the rest of my life. That’s very difficult and scary.
I keep thinking, what would have happened if my husband and I were in Kyiv with the kids right now? One is three years old, and the other one is just three months old. I saw orphanages that were bombed. Sick kids who need treatment from cancer with IV in their arms have to hide in bomb shelters, where it’s cold and wet. It’s scary to even think about it. My heart is bleeding watching this. This war must end.